Toxic People
"Jesus Christ is weaning me
from the world and is constantly making me a man of God. He's doing the same in
your life. Changing who you are into who you need to become. Every true believer
must go through this process."
Steve Hill
TOXIC PEOPLE
This devotion originally ran a month or so ago, but God placed it in front of me
for some of you today...especially with the holidays. It's about toxic people.
We are all surrounded by them and some of us, even in church, have become toxic
ourselves.
Toxic people are people who are infected and contagious. They spread and infect
others around them with their negative, judgmental, critical and harsh
personality. Before you start thinking of people you know right now that you
consider toxic, judge yourself in the light of God's word to see how much toxin
lay within you. In my mind, everyone is toxic to one degree or another because
no one has all of the flesh removed. This is why God is after our hearts to
change us - where we are - rather than us waiting for Him to change all the
others around us.
God wants to change us all into the image of His dear Son. We only have power to
change ourselves. Ultimately, no matter how much conviction God pours into our
heart or how much His hand tries to change us, the decision to be reformed in
our personality, actions, and character lies with us.
My husband works with a young man who is not saved but has been in church for a
number of years throughout his life. When Carlos tries to talk to him about the
Lord, this boy shuts him off all the time. Finally, after months of walking
before this young man as Christ would want him to walk, the boy told Carlos
this: The only reason I would return to the church is if I wanted to get hurt.
Ouch!
But how true this is. The Bible commands us – rather Jesus commanded us – in
Matthew 7:1 to not judge other people. This includes their motives, their
ability to change, their heart, and anything else. Do not judge anyone. Period.
Nothing in between. Nothing more to say. Regardless what you "perceive", you are
not called to judge. Regardless of what you think that person needs to change,
you don't judge, criticize, or form a negative opinion of them.
This is natural, carnal living but God is calling for us to become crucified,
because what you see may not be what is truth. For example, in Acts 2, after the
120 had been filled with the Holy Spirit, they left the upper room and entered
the streets. The people in the streets saw them staggering under the influence
of the Spirit's power on them and said they were drunk. They passed judgment
based on what their limited understanding of God was, and based on what they saw
in the natural. The problem? They were wrong. Peter addressed them saying,
"These men are not drunk but are filled with the Holy Spirit"
The Bible is full of examples of when the things that people perceived or judged
was wrong. It's also chock full of people who lived critical, negative lives and
infected the lives of those around them. Consider reading the books of I and II
Kings. You notice that when a righteous man became King, Israel pleased God.
They obeyed Him. But when a man arose as King who did evil in the sight of the
Lord, all of Israel was infected and did evil right along side him. They knew
better, but chose to follow their impulses rather than obey the Word of the
Lord. Then they would find themselves in bondage and God would raise up a
deliverer when they cried out for help.
Daily we also, like those Kings, lead by our example: to our families, the
people we work with or live near. They see our actions, good or evil, and it
begins to infiltrate the whole. Jesus likened it to leaven. It said all it took
was a little bit of yeast to cause dough to rise. So it also only takes a little
contention, a little unforgiveness, a little judgment, a little criticism, a
little negative thinking and you and those around you become infected. Toxins
ooze out instead of the life and glory of God.
Sadly, many of the body of Christ never see the poison in their mouths and
hearts. They won't cry out for God to change them because they are too busy
seeing the need for others to be changed. I have bene guilty of this and admit
it. But in admitting it, please also heed my warning. It's a path that leads
away from God even if you are on a worship team, are active in church or pastor
a church. From the pulpit to the pew, no one is exempt from becoming toxic.
My husband Carlos and I deal with this continually in ministry. God desires to
change both of us and He uses us and situations in our lives to accomplish this.
Neither of us are the same people we were a year ago. We have grown and changed.
Some changes were easy while others were much more difficult. But the focus of
any season of change was on us individually. If I was dealing with people that
were more difficult than what I liked being around, I can't just pray and wait
for them to change. I HAVE TO CHANGE. God may be dealing with them. They may be
changing or they may be resisting the change, but the ONLY thing I have to
answer for is how I respond. Do I allow God to make me more like Him or do I
look for other people to help me with a matter? Do I yield to His molding in me
or demand my way and make everyone miserable unless they surrender to me? Is my
presence soothing or does it cause others to feel that they are walking on
eggshells?
As I said in the beginning, don't read this and think of all the people you know
that may need to hear these words. Place the magnifying glass over your own
life. I do. Daily. How is my life lining up with scripture? Am I obeying His
word when pressure is applied or do I wriggle around like a worm on a hook,
looking for someone else to change so I don't have to?
It's easy to look at the Ten Commandments and think you are living well.
Probably so if you aren't killing someone, coveting or committing adultery. But
what about the rest of the word of God? Look at these few scriptures and see how
your heart stands:
"Avoid godless and foolish discussions which lead to more and more ungodliness.
This kind of talk spreads like cancer." 2 Timothy 2:16
"The Lord's servants must not quarrel but MUST be kind to EVERYONE" 2 Timothy
2:24
"Judge no one unless you yourself be judged." Matt 7:1
"But I (Jesus) say, love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you. In that
way you will be ACTING LIKE TRUE CHILDREN of your Father in Heaven." Matt 5:44
(Are you acting like His child...would those around you say that you are?)
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it
will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven." Luke
6:37
"…blessed are all those who hear the word of God and put it into practice." Luke
11:28
"You must be compassionate, just as your Father in Heaven is compassionate."
Luke 6:36
"Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those
who are corrupt and unbelieving, because their minds and consciences are
defiled. Such people claim that they know God, but they deny Him by the way they
live." Titus 2:15
"Believers MUST NOT speak evil of ANYONE and they MUST avoid quarreling.
Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to EVERYONE." Titus 3:2
I don't know about you, but when I read how God expects His children to act;
what His Son Jesus showed them, in person, how to live, it makes me realize two
things:
1. I still fall short and need more of God 2. I can't judge anyone else because
I myself will stand in judgment (because I still fall short)
There are also scriptures that you NEVER want to become an example of:
"These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. Their
worship (this means they are worshipping in some manor) is a farce, for they
replace God's commands with their own man made teachings." Mark 7:7 (They are
worshipping; God is not accepting it)
"So why do you call me Lord when you will not obey me?" Luke 6:46
I'm pleading with each and every reader to place their heart and mouth under the
magnifying glass and judge themselves. The Bible tells us if we will judge
ourselves (correctly) we won't be judged. I'm all for that!
Love EVERYONE. Each family member; regardless of their actions for evil. Never
repay evil actions with an attitude of your own. Bless them and be compassionate
to them. The people you work with, live near, or come into contact with should
see a glorious reflection of the face of Jesus coming from us. Stephen, in Acts
7, had a face shining like that of an angel. Some may say to me that at the time
that happened, Stephen was being stoned, so the glory and grace of God was being
manifested. I would have to say that you never know how you will respond to
someone beating you to death until you get to that place, but if you explode
when someone crosses you, has a different opinion than you, lies or deceives to
or about you then there is no way you would have grace to bless someone killing
you.
You have to learn to show grace to those around you in your daily life in order
to have learned blessing and forgiveness for the bigger and more trying
circumstances. Grace, love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness and blessing those
who are making our lives a more difficult is not natural.
It requires crucifixion and staying in the word until the word stays in you.
Stop going through the word of God as though it was a duty you must perform to
be acceptable to God. Instead, get in His Word, learn of Him and let His word go
through you.
Toxic people will always be stumbling blocks. They are in the church and in the
world. They always have been and always will be. But those of us who call
ourselves Christians have a compass to our actions. If we'll line up with His
word, I believe more people would line up to find Jesus. We would make finding
and knowing Him irresistable!
Living for the Call,
Michelle Molina
www.livingforthecall.org